he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
