Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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