She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
