Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
