I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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