now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish you could order shots online.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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