she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
