This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
