I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
