You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
