Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
