How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize