As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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