the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
