dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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