Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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