i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
