addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
