I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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