This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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