Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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