Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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