two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
