hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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