It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
