We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
