I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize