my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
