Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
