Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
