Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
