The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
