The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
