Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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