One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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