Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
