Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
