It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
