He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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