it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
