Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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