I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
