Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
