idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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