So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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