I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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