I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
