The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All the doctor said was why
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
