I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
