im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
