I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
