just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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