North Korea, Best Korea!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
