The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
