I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
