They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
