Cold hands, warm shart.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
