Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize