So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
