He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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