thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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