I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize