Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
