I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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