i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
