I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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