he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize