I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
