I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
