whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
