So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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