my text book just quoted the cookie monster
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
