She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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