idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We got so high we made milksteak
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
