Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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