You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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