I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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