dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
