my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize