Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
