made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
