It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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